Two weeks ago my daughter married a man the family has all come to love. I like to say that, if I could go into a husband store and pick one out for her, J is the one I would choose.
I've had a little time to think about my newest family member, and how the dynamics of the family change. Fortunately, we've had several years of including him in our events and gatherings, and he has blended in effortlessly.
But... "mother-in-law". Has there ever been a title infused with more negativity? How do I make sure my relationship with J follows an uplifting trajectory? I never want to be that woman that makes him roll his eyes in exasperation. As a perpetual optimist, I like to think my involvement in his life will be as welcome as his is in mine.
My mother has steadfastly cheered my husband on, encouraging him at every opportunity. After his own mother's death from cancer, he seemed to become closer to my mother (who likes to be called "Mama"). When I asked him about it, he said, "She's the closest thing I have to a mother, and I like it." I've watched him patiently help her with her computer, her IRA, and anything else she asks him about. He likes to be needed, and Mama is a genius at giving all of us what we most need. (And, she doesn't have to make it up - she really DOES need help with these things!)
I truly look forward to building a warm and loving relationship with J, and that it supports and complements a long, happy marriage.
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