Mother-in-Law

Two weeks ago my daughter married a man the family has all come to love.  I like to say that, if I could go into a husband store and pick one out for her, J is the one I would choose.

I've had a little time to think about my newest family member, and how the dynamics of the family change.  Fortunately, we've had several years of including him in our events and gatherings, and he has blended in effortlessly.

But... "mother-in-law".  Has there ever been a title infused with more negativity?  How do I make sure my relationship with J follows an uplifting trajectory?  I never want to be that woman that makes him roll his eyes in exasperation.  As a perpetual optimist, I like to think my involvement in his life will be as welcome as his is in mine. 

My mother has steadfastly cheered my husband on, encouraging him at every opportunity.  After his own mother's death from cancer, he seemed to become closer to my mother (who likes to be called "Mama").  When I asked him about it, he said, "She's the closest thing I have to a mother, and I like it."  I've watched him patiently help her with her computer, her IRA, and anything else she asks him about.  He likes to be needed, and Mama is a genius at giving all of us what we most need.  (And, she doesn't have to make it up - she really DOES need help with these things!)

I truly look forward to building a warm and loving relationship with J, and that it supports and complements a long, happy marriage.

FoodLove

We are not always traditional at Thanksgiving. Last year, we ate in a wonderful restaurant in Honolulu (Top of Waikiki). Several years ago, I declared a boycott of Thanksgiving - mainly because of feeling so homesick for my southern family. (My sweet husband surprised me by cooking an entire Thanksgiving meal for us, anyway!)

Still, most of the time, we gravitate to the familiar. In preparation for our tiny Thanksgiving this year, for three people, I pulled out the recipes. It hits me harder every year. The food created by these recipes are physical manifestations of the love I've received from the women who gave them to me.

Bettye Cannon's Sweet Potato Casserole comes from her church cookbook, published in about 1989. She gave the cookbook to my daughter - her granddaughter - when Adrienne was 8. It has always lived in my house, but I think the time has come to pass it on to the original recipient :) One of the best things about this cookbook is that Adrienne taped a memo pad page to the inside front cover with these comments:

" I got this when I was eight years old.

X means maybe good but I haven't tried it.

V (check mark) means looks good but I haven't tried it.

* (star) mean's I know it's gona be good!"

So when I make this casserole, the taste of it is full of love and memories. I make it once a year and give thanks for the lovely woman my daughter has become, as well as her grandmother - the kind, sweet woman who still loves us both.

Sweet Potato Casserole

3 c sweet potatoes, boiled and mashed

1 c. sugar

1/2 stick margarine ( I like butter)

2 eggs, well beaten

1/4 c. milk

1 tsp. vanilla

Topping:

1 c. brown sugar

1/2 c. flour

1/2 c. margarine

chopped pecans, optional

Mix ingredients well and pour into large baking dish. Mix topping ingredients well and sprinkle on top. Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 30 minutes or until topping is golden brown.

From Keenager's Kookery, Trinity Baptist Church, Pearl, MS. Printed about 1989

Ma Po Tofu - Sort of...

Tonight's invent-a-meal was a surprisingly tasty, no-meat version of that Chinese classic, ma po tofu. I used Morningstar Farms griller crumbles in place of the pork. And, well, I substituted most of the other ingredients on the internet recipes I checked. Here's the basic formula:

• 2/3 bag Morningstar Farms griller recipe crumbles
• 12 oz firm tofu, diced (next time, I'll use more tofu)
• soy sauce, about 1/8 cup
  
• 2T cornstarch
• 2T black bean sauce
• 1/4 c sweet chili sauce
• 1/2 to 3/4 c water
• chopped green onion
• chili garlic sauce (optional)
• oil for stir-fry
• cooked brown rice
  

Mix cornstarch and soy sauce. Add frozen crumbles to the mix, stir, and defrost in microwave for about 2 minutes. Let the crumbles absorb most of the liquid - takes a few more minutes.

Heat oil. Add veggie crumble mix and stir until it's heated. Add black bean sauce and mix well. Add tofu and gently mix as it heats. Add water to thin out sauce, then add sweet chili sauce. If you like it spicy, add in a bit of chili garlic sauce. I just added mine afterwards, since my husband didn't want the extra heat. Once everything's hot and bubbling, serve over brown rice.

To make everything as quickly as possible, put the rice cooker on before you start with the ma po tofu. Rice takes about 45 minutes, main dish only took about 20.

Chow Fun

We mostly enjoy the quest for good food that doesn't contain chicken, pork, beef, turkey, lamb, eggs, or dairy.

Last night's meal - a noodle stir-fry - was a tasty treat only available in Hawaii. I used fresh chow fun noodles, fresh poke (cubed ahi with green onions and to-die-for seasonings), chop suey mix (bean sprouts, cabbage, shredded carrots), and a little onion. It seemed like something was missing, and I realize now I should have drizzled a little sesame oil and sprinkled sesame seeds on top. The soy sauce and red pepper flakes weren't enough.

The secret is the order in which everything's cooked. First, the onion (3 minutes), followed by chop suey (another 3 minutes). Then, I added the poke for a minute or two, followed by the chow fun noodles. Once they get heated up, it's time to drizzle oil and sprinkle sesame seeds. Yummy!

I have to admit, it seems like a waste to cook fresh poke (pronounced "poak-eh") when it's so good raw - but it's the only way Tom can eat it.

Next time I'll take a picture of the dish and add it to my post.

Egg-less Wonder

When the doctor said to eliminate egg products from my diet for 3 months, I thought it would be no problem. Do you have any idea how many foods have eggs in them? Foods I LOVE, I might add. But, in the spirit of conquering inflammation on my journey to better health, I soldier on.

After a couple of weeks of cutting out morning egg-white omelets, I find myself in need of a.m. protein. I've resorted to eating last night's leftover chicken several times, but it doesn't quite hit the spot as a culinary treat.

Reading ingredient lists has yielded "hidden" eggs in things I like. Mayonnaise and almost all baked goods are in the forbidden zone. My usual fall-back for mayo is plain, strained yogurt, but this is another food I need to avoid. Thank goodness for vegennaise - Tom keeps calling it vaginnaise.

Now I'm on a quest. I hate to feel deprived. Today I made apple craisin muffins, which made me feel better. Tomorrow I'll try Irish soda bread, and there's a cocoa-banana muffin recipe calling my name once the apple bananas ripen. All I need is time :)

A-political

After re-reading the last couple of posts, I don't like the trend my blog is taking. I'm not all that into politics, and just venting about things that annoy me is counter-productive. So - I'll re-think how best to make use of this forum.

Health Care

A very smart man said to me, "Look, I can afford health care. But, I want to make sure that the guy who fixes my salad at the Olive Garden can afford to get his hepatitis treated so I don't get it!"

I never cease to be amazed at my friends and family who send out emails generating fear and hatred over making medical care available to all. To the Christians I want to say, "Hey, look down at your WWJD bracelet! He HEALED the sick, and he urged people to build spiritual, not material, wealth. So shut up and act more like Him."

I still love my friends and family - but I wish they could see the world through a different lens.

Oh, and I must confess that the smart man referenced is my husband.